Sound the Alarm

The Dickinson Press shares a story about a man in Fargo using beer cans to alert him to intruders. Who needs Brinks Home Security (or Broadview, as it's apparently going by these days)?

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Fargo police say an apartment tenant who set empty beer cans in front of his door to alert him to intruders ended up fighting with an alleged burglar.

Sgt. Bill Ahlfeldt says police were called early Tuesday after a report of two elderly men attacking each other.

Ahlfeldt says a 61-year-old man who lives in the same building was arrested on suspicion of burglary.

Ahlfeldt says the man appeared to be intoxicated, and it's possible he believed he was entering his own apartment.

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Scent of a Woman

Blue Marble Energy, based in Seattle, Washington, is creating perhaps the world's first beer perfume. Actually, they're not even using beer. BME is using the waste product that comes from making beer. EOS is being created by BME in conjunction with Seattle's Sweet Anthem. The EOS line is available for Her and Unisex. "Both are petrochemical-free, containing only bioderived and organic materials", and carbon neutral.

As the story goes, "James Stephens of Blue Marble Energy says the product is a viscous sludge - a mixture of about 50,000 different kinds of bacteria." This sounds a lot like the type of "perfume" any woman can get free of charge at a college pub crowded with underage men spilling beer while shamelessly trying to "hit that". Surely the average college student has 50,000 kinds of bacteria, particularly fraternity brothers. You know, the scent that makes women shower when they get home from the bars at 3am.

If you're a chump you can buy it here or you can simply send us $30 (cash only please) and we'll send you a 12 ounce bottle of skunked beer.

For giggles we bring you this not un-related homage to perfume:

The Fifth Beer of Christmas

For this fifth beer of Christmas we had many reasons to be thankful - new additions to the family, health, gifts under the tree...and one lump of coal. So, maybe a lump of coal is an extreme description for the Petrus Winter Ale but it was a disappointing brew given the date on the calendar.

The Winter Ale is crisp and fresh with a clean aftertaste. It pours with a tint of red, which is really quite beautiful for Christmas day. The head is quite thick and creamy - pour slowly. The aroma is fruity, something you expect from Belgian brews, but the flavor is lacking. Generally speaking, it's nothing special but still tasty. If you're looking for more you will not find it here.

To be honest, it went quite well with our Christmas feast. Because of the mild flavor and clean finish it didn't get in the way of dinner. We do give it props for a groovy logo and we love bottles that open like champagne. All in all we will call it a push - we had high expectations and while the Winter Ale didn't live up to them it still made for a nice brew to have with dinner. We're certainly not complaining but we probably wouldn't pick it up again either.

The Fourth Beer of Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The newborns were neslted all snug in their beds and we just finished our Christmas shopping. As a gift to ourselves, rather than wrapping, we took a short respite and found a bottle for cracking.

With visions of sugar plums dancing in our heads we warmed the cockles of our soul with Corsendonck's Christmas Ale. We were fortunate to score from Lot 6536. The Christmas Ale is brewed from November through February. It was brewed and bottled by Brewery Du Bocq for Brewery Corsendonck, Oud-Turnhout, Belgium.

It's a dark, Belgian ale that pours dark brown with a thick, long-lasting head. If the Christmas season in Belgium has an aroma you can find it in this brew. You can really pick up the fruits and spices and if you're not careful it can be mistaken for grandma's fruit cake. The Christmas Ale finishes sweet with a medium carbonation. Ours was sitting in the refridgerator for several days and this is probably a beer better served at closer to room temperature.

So, after a few pints our heart's nice and warm. We turn of the lights and wrap one last gift. We can't help but think Santa would prefer Corsendonk's Christmas Ale to cookies and milk.

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Third Beer of Christmas - Sprecher's Finest

The theme for the next couple of brews is less focused on Christmas and more broadly covers the winter season. Hey, it can't be Christmas everyday. So, without further adieu:

For the third beer of Christmas our true love brought to us the Sprecher Brewing Company's fire brewed Winter Brew Lager. The Winter Brew pours with more carbonation than you might expect, resulting in a larger oatmeal-color head that dissovles rather quickly. You can sense the extra carbonation but it doesn't get in the way of the beer. It has an aroma of caramel, molasses, and maybe a hint of vanilla. The caramel flavor has hints of maltyness and a citrus or bitter finish. It's a full bodied bock but doesn't fill you up after one or two pints.

Sprecher's Winter Brew is a solid, reliable brew that could only come from a place like Milwaukee. If you need status to make your brew go down easier it might help you to know that the Winter Brew won World Beer Cup Gold and Bronze medals.

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While researching the Winter Brew we stumbled upon Sprecher's label for Vampire Blood Ale. Hmm, is there a Twilight beer review in our future?

The Second Beer of Christmas

For the second beer of Christmas our true love gave to us Rogue's Santa's Private Reserve Ale. In the spirit of full disclosure, we have a bit of a love affair for the Rogue brews. We also have a thing for red ales. Forgive us for getting red in the cheeks over Santa's Reserve.

Santa's Reserve is a double hopped red ale. The body is a red that even Saint Nick would envy and the head carries a copper-hue. The flavor is quite flowery and malty with a uniquely "hoppy spruce finish" - though we are more inclined to call it a pine flavor on the back end. We made it clear yesterday that the 7 brews should be unique and Santa's finish fills the bill. It's thick and chewy but easy to drink. Yesterday, we sang the chorus of the 22 ounce bottle - today we wish the bottle was larger.

We find Santa's Reserve particulary suited to wrapping presents. Of course, if you're a real man you haven't started your holiday shopping yet. You enjoyed Santa's Reserve after a long day of shoveling snow and watching football - really bad football, which makes us grateful this holiday season for not being a sports blog.

The 7 Beers of Christmas

Any beer blog can bring you the 12 beers of Christmas but here at Dumbarton's Beer we live by a less ambitious mantra: expect nothing and you won't be disappointed. With that we offer you 7 brews you might consider as you dig your way out of the northeast's storm of the century.

Day One - Heavy Seas Yule Tide

Brought to you by Clipper City, Yule Tide is a Belgian style tripel ale. It's sweet, malty, complex, and flavorful. In short, it's pretty much the same thing you will find in any other run of the mill Belgian triple. Were it not a holiday special we would think nothing of this being an utterly ordinary brew. But it's the Christmas Season* and our expectations are higher (as they always are just before Santa crashes us into reality).

The Heavy Seas line is the creative end of Clipper City so maybe it's too burdensome to expect an exponential increase in creativity but throwing a Santa cap on a skull and cross bones and calling it special doesn't make the cut. We know what CC is going for but the label probably shouldn't call the 22 ounce bottles "extrAARGHdinary" or call this triple "an avalance of flavor."

You would be wrong to assume we don't like this beer. In fact, we rather enjoy Yule Tide. It's greatest sin is that when you're in the local beer shop you pick up the Yule feeling like you found a special Christmas gem. As we mentioned, it's flavorful and complex - like a solid triple should be. Tripels can sometimes be much for our pallette so 22 ounce bottles are quite perfect. Just enough for us to have a couple of pints without getting ourselves in too deep.

*"Christmas Season" generically refers to this time of year - a time that is sacred to many religions. So, Happy Christmas, Merry Chanukah, Happy Kwanza, kiss my ass, kiss his ass...

Pork Chops and Apple Sauce

What's the worst part about being held captive by Iran, the country most known for being part of the "axis of evil" and actively searching for nuclear technology for purely altruistic reasons? According to one captive it's being deprived of pork products and beer.

David Bloomer, of Ireland, was aboard the Kingdom of Bahrain when it was intercepted by the Iranian Navy last week. Yesterday, he and the four others taken captive were released by Iran after it was confirmed that the KOB simply made a mistake by entering Iran's waters. Mr. Bloomer was looking most forward to a brew and bacon telling the Irish Times that "[w]e were fed very well but there was no bacon or pork, of course, or alcohol where we were."

It must have been awful.

Man's Best Friend Gets Even Better

A company called Bark4Beer has created the best canine accessory in the history of man's best friend. For just $14.95 you can purchase a dog collar that is embedded with a retractable bottle opener. And they know their marketing saying it's a "great gift for you, your loved one, fraternity brother, college roommate, hunting friends, tailgate posse and of course your dog. Bring out your inner party animal today."

Wondering how it works? Click here for a demonstration by disturbingly half-naked Joey. Now, if we could only get Fido to fetch the beer.

Tip of the hat to the Baltimore Sun's Unleashed blog.