Drinkin' with the Po Po

It's been awhile since Florida has graced these pages.  Well, the Sunshine state is back and with a vengeance courtesy of 68 year old Elmer Daniels.  Mr. Daniels, of Brandenton, FL refused a field sobriety test after being involved in a car accident.  According to reports, Mr. Daniels cracked open a cold one while he was talking with state troopers.  He also admitted drinking beers in his van before the crash and told officers he puts down a six pack daily.

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Daniels, who was drinking a beer while talking to troopers, admitted drinking beer in his van and had finished nearly two beers before the crash.

A police report said Daniels told investigators he usually drinks a six-pack of beer each day.
Daniels was arrested and charged with driving under the influence with property damage or injury. He was jailed in lieu of $16,500 bond.
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A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste

Jason Nesbitt of Vero Beach, Florida, has been pulling double duty in the criminal world these days. A police officer responding to domestic battery involving Mr. Nesbitt noticed he fit the description of an individual wanted for an armed robbery at Kwik Stop.

Said the article:

"A white male entered the store, grabbed a can of beer from a cooler then approached the cashier.

The man appeared to be holding an object that looked like a firearm, according to police. The male then instructed the cashier to give him all of the money.

The suspect was handed the cash and exited the store, riding away on a bicycle, leaving behind his beer can at the counter.

Jason Nesbitt's fingerprints matched with the fingerprints lifted from the can of beer left at the scene by the suspect."

Cheers!

Beer Snob Slashes Friends

The ABC affiliate in Sarasota, Florida reports that an otherwise fine, upstanding citizen was arrested for stabbing three people in a beer argument. To everybody's surprise, the stabbing occurred in a trailer. Says the report:

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...deputies arrested 50-year-old Amilcar Guerra for the stabbing of three men. Deputies say Guerra became upset over the brand of beer two of the men had purchased.
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"I'm telling you man, you bring Miller Lite to my trailer one more time I'm goin' to cut you." (That may not be an accurate quote.)

Mad Dash for the Hooch

Earlier this week, the Gainesville residents were faced with a tragic, horrific ordeal when a Toyota collided with a tractor trailer hauling kegs of beer. The driver was moving south along I-75 at 7:20 am when "for unknown reasons, drove the Toyota across the center and inside lanes before hitting the median guardrail. Then the pick up returned to the freeway where it was hit by the semi." A witness who wished to remain anonymous reported the driver seemed on edge and particularly eager to get to the beer. Haven't we all been there?

The Gainesville Sun goes on to report that minutes later a late-model GMC truck crashed into the semi "coming to a stop about eight feet inside the trailer. Columbia County firefighters and deputies were instrumental in cleaning up the crash site and controlling traffic." The cleaned up beer will be used at this week's Columbia County FD Texas Hold 'Em Poker Tournament & Fundraiser (to buy a new hook and ladder truck).

In a related story, Sherriff Buford T. Justice is still chasing the Bandit and Cledus.









Thanks to our friends at Gheorge for the tip.