Disaster Preparedness 101

Having survived the 5.8 earthquake last week and Irene over this past weekend we've decided the time is right to start preparing for the next apocalyptic natural disaster. No, we're not talking about the return of Congress after Labor Day weekend. In fact, the next big one is already developing.

We at Dumbarton's Beer have come up with a simple and fool-proof master plan for surviving natural disasters. The plan: Have Kids. We can almost guarantee that if you have kids real disaster planning pretty much takes care of itself. We can prove it. Below are some of the supply kit highlights for hurricane survival as prepared by the fine folks at NOAA. This list is child's play (we couldn't resist).

Water: This is America. Nobody drinks from the tap and you all have a case of bottled water in the house. This item is moot.

Food/Booze*: If you're under the age of 25 you only have a stick of butter, expired ketchup and 2 cans of a six pack in your refrigerator. If you have kids the shelves are always stocked with both fresh foods and non-perishable items. We have kids and there is no shortage of food in our house - ever. And because we have kids there is no shortage of beer. Preparing for Irene in our house meant getting bread and cottage cheese. (Seriously, what kid likes cottage cheese?) We were already stocked with craft beer from several brewers.

Blankets/Pillows: Kids love their blankies. Sure, they have various names for their favorite blanket but if you have kids chances are you have several because you never know when and where the kid is going to throw up.

Clothing: You can no longer afford clothes for yourself and you're perfectly comfortable wearing the same items for several days in a row (like college but for different reasons). Your kids get new clothes every 4-6 weeks. This is a result of either the child's rate of growth or the changing seasons. Everybody's covered.

First Aid: You're house is already a MASH unit. Kids fall, jump, and run. They also spend the better part of the early years perfecting motor skills so from the moment of the first roll over you are stocked with all your first aid needs. In fact, you could probably put in a couple of stitches in a pinch.

Toiletries/Moisture Wipes: Wipes are one of the best things about having children. They are multi-purpose cleaners from children's skin to the hard surfaces in your kitchen. If you wear glasses you'll find they are every bit as effective as glass cleaner. In our house the wipe of choice is Pampers.

Flashlight/Batteries: OK, you might need to purchase a flashlight but if you need batteries in your house then you probably hate your kids. The grandparents and your always-clever friends love to buy kids toys with lights, bells, whistles, and music. All require batteries ranging from AAA to D and even 9-volt (yes, they still use 9-volt batteries).

Radio: It's 2011. Nobody has radio.

Telephone: Nobody has land line either but you probably have a cell phone with all the key phone numbers - like the Poison Control Center.

Cash/Credit Cards: If you have kids you don't have cash and your credit cards are maxed out (on things like batteries, clothes, blankets, etc).

Full Tank of Gas: Kids need to get out. A lot. They have gymnastics, play dates, doctor's appointments, trips to the zoo, and a host of other travel needs. Besides, you need a full tank of gas for those nights when you run off to the bar after the kids go to bed so you can watch the game while not sitting in chair stained with baby food.

There you have it. All of your disaster preparedness needs take care of themselves if you have kids. If you don't have kids get to work because that's the easy part.

*NOAA does not actually recommend booze but when's the last time you saw any news footage of people preparing for a disaster that did not include a beer run?

Why So Serious?

Though focused on the craft brew segment, we have a place in our hearts for Budweiser; a place that is growing smaller by the day. Those paying attention at home know that Bud is constantly battling with Bud in Europe. While we don't necessarily support the home team (home being relative now that the American Bud is owned by InBev) but we understand the obvious business issue. You can't have two Budweisers anymore than you can have two FoMoCos (hmmm....two Mustangs?).

We learned via HuffingtonPost that Budweiser is not taking the battle to wine by ordering Budini wine to stop using the name Budini. As it turns out, AB-InBev claims the "trademark for all alcoholic beverages beginning with letters BUD." We strongly encourage you to check out the story and find out why Budini importers, now importing Bodini, decided to cease and desist rather than fight Goliath.

All of this brings us back to our point that we like to have the occasional Bud. We grew up around Bud, enjoy it's taste now and again, and still think there's something inherently American and cool about ordering a bottle of Bud at the local dive. So, if you're from the Budweiser family and reading this please stop being a corporate bully. It's easy enough to hate global conglomerates (and non-conglomerates). We support buying local but don't make us go all hardcore because we're not cut out for cloth bags at the grocery store and living the "vegan lifestyle."

Don't Call it A Comeback

You might not have noticed but this blog has been stagnant for quite awhile now. If you're going to pick up the baton again you have to have a post that is, well, EPIC. That's why we're bringing you, for the first time ever, a review of not one but three EPIC beers.

The Epic Brewing Company (EBC) was founded in 2008 in Salt Lake City, Utah. A veritable hotbed of brewing, Salt Lake City is also known for great skiing and eclectic religions. Surely the guys at EBC came up with the name without knowing that the word "epic" would go from obscure to trendy to so overused that even Charlie Sheen stopped using it. The trilogy of Epic has a "strong belief in doing everything 'all out'" so don't let pop culture ruin this experience for you.

We sampled from the Exponential Series and we highly recommend you do the same. This series is available in limited quantities and is geared towards the "accomplished consumer" but we tried it anyway. The Classic and Elevated series' may be excellent as well but this blog post is not about being classic or even elevated. It's about being EPIC.

Imperial Red Ale (#6). The IRA is a double red ale with a hoppy aroma and a bitter hoppy finish. In short, it's really good. In between the hops you find a dry caramel, malty taste. It trends sweet and is light on carbonation. It pours amber with a creamy head.

Smoked and Oaked Belgian Strong Ale (#4). This one is all Belgian and almost no smoke but if you like Belgians this will suit you just fine. There is a nice sweetness that comes out from the smoked cherry wood malts but we didn't get much from the cask aging. For our palette, it seems cask aging results in overpowering whiskey flavor or no substantial benefit though we acknowledge a lack of sophistication in this arena (and most others). While the IRA was our favorite the Smoked and Oaked is good as well...and it's kinda fun to say smoked and oaked.

Sour-Apple Saison (#6). If there is one beer that rightfully has "Epic" on the label it's the SAS. The sour apple will kick you in the face if you're not paying attention (we were not paying attention). You know that feeling you get in the back of your jaw when you suck on a lemon? That's what SAS does to you. The Saison style is not one of our favorites but that doesn't mean we can't try them now and again. The combination of sour apple and Saison style was a bit too much for us but if we find it again we're willing to take another run at it.