Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Defining Beer Goggles

Reuters tells us that we can stop blaming beer goggles because a new study has determined that intoxication does not help men determine a woman's age (because that's what single men are trying to do while drinking beer and hitting on women). Further, drinking beer actually makes the opposite sex less attractive.

Thanks Dr. Vincent Egan (University of Leicester) for your groundbreaking study but we fear that you misconstrued the use of the term "beer goggles". It's not your fault. It happens all the time. However, it's a little known fact that men do not rely on beer goggles to make women attractive nor do men rely on the goggles for predicting age. Men rely on beer goggles to help us not care about the attractiveness or age of a woman.

To rectify the situation we humbly offer a more accurate definition of the term.

Beer Goggles: Device by which an individual (or individuals) intentionally causes mental impairment to the degree that the individual's primary concern is "hooking up" with a member of the opposite sex regardless of the level of attractiveness and/or age of said member.

You may discuss.
Cheers!

1 comment:

Too Good For You said...

I call b.s. on this study. I'm pretty sure in my "testing" aka every drinking night beer makes people more attractive. My proof? Reviewing digital camera pics the next day.