Laying A Big, Fat Egg

We're just over 4 minutes into the second period of the Blackhawks-Red Wings game and for the first time since Chicago drafted Patrick Kane we find ourselves rooting for the Wings. We're Eastern Conference-centric so most nights this game could end in a tie and we could live with it. A fair number of people believe in the prowess of the Western Conference but while they have Hockeytown we have Hockey Heaven (admittedly under construction).

The real reason for our Windy City animosity this evening is the disappointing news that the Goose Island Beer Company (aka Fulton Street Brewery, LLC) is selling out to Anheuser-Busch (aka Anheuser-Bush InBev). In a blog post sent to us by our Midwest Correspondents, CEO John Hall explains that it's primarily about increasing capacity, innovation, protecting the future of Goose Island, yadayadayada. Said Hall, "[t]oday's agreement...will provide us with the best resources available to continue along our path of growth and innovation."

Forgive our skepticism but this smacks of selling out the way your favorite punk band goes pop rock for the coin. The big brewers have been forcing their way into the craft segment for the past few years and it makes good business sense. It's likely hard for AB to be half of a global brewing conglomerate and open a startup craft brewing company both logistically and from a public relations perspective. Besides, you have to do something when sales of your flagship brand have been stagnant for years.

The real reason for skepticism is Mr. Hall's talk of innovation when the agreement includes news that Brewmaster Greg Hall is stepping down. According to Chicago Breaking Business, AB is pumping $1.3 million into increasing capacity but losing your head brewer is no small matter. One also wonders why not go small before going big? The same CBB article notes that Dog Fish Head recently pulled out of four states because they didn't have the brewing capacity.

It could be worse - AB could have hired Gilbert Gottfried as the new voice over for Goose Island commercials. For those keeping score at home, Chicago's leading 201 with 16:30 gone in the second period. We're going to grab a Bell's.

Hey, This is A Family Blog

So, you will find no photographs directly attributable to the following news items. That said, they're damn good stories. The news just writes itself sometimes.

Mesa, AZ - Police in Mesa were called when a man claimed his girlfriend was damaging his windshield and rear window. The officers walked up to the door of her residence hoping to speak with her about the matter. "She answered the door naked and holding a beer, telling the cops she had just been skinny dipping." In her conversation with the police the woman explained that she did not cause any damage to the vehicle in question. She also called the police "pigs" and refused to answer any other questions. Also worth noting is that she caused the vehicle damage with a dog leash (read into that what you will).

Broome, AUS - Taking you half way around the world to Australia where a tourist was hospitalized after getting drunk and breaking into a reptile park in an attempt to ride a crocodile.  After being kicked out of a nearby pub, the gentleman entered Broome Crocodile Park and attempted to ride a 16 foot crocodile named Fatso (cue the Crocodile Dundee jokes).  Fatso shares his pen with two female crocodiles.  Sargeant Roger Haynes of the local police said "[h]e has attempted to sit on its back and the croc has taken offence to that and has spun around and bit him on the right leg."  Said Fatso after the incident: "there's only so much of Fatso to go around and two ladies livin' in my crib is trouble enough."  The intruder's name is not being released - presumably to protect him from the abject humiliation that will be brought down from friends and family.

For putting up with lame news stories we offer you this Muppet gem:

Breaking News: Troegs Moving to Hershey

Pennlive.com is reporting that the Troegs Brewery will leave it's home in Harrisburg, PA for nearby Derry.  According to the report, Troegs will move to 200 E. Hersheypark Drive in Derry Township of Pennsylvania.  The property is owned by the Hershey Trust.

Troegs brews some of our favorites - including Hopback Ale and Troegenator Double Bock.  We're not sure how we feel about the move.  On one hand, we're big supporters of maintaining corporate headquarters for the long-term.  On the other hand, Troegs is growing quickly and may need additional space.  Having been to the Harrisburg site we now have an excuse to visit Derry, PA.

We also bring you this Muppet News Flash...

Breaking News: FBBC Coming Soon!

According to the twitters and Facebooks, Flying Bison is coming soon! 

Flying Bison posted this on their Facebook page:  "We are expecting tractor trailers full of malt, hops, yeast and other brewing supplies in the next few days and YES, WE WILL BE BREWING VERY SOON!  Stay tuned and thanks for hanging in there with us.  Cheers!"

We also bring you this very important Muppet News Flash!

This Week in Beer News

It's been an interesting week we'll say that much. Maybe we all get a little out of sorts when the tax man is knocking at the door. More likely, these types of stories have been around for ages and it's only the Internet that helps us understand everybody's crazy.

Today we bring you one robbery and one foiled robbery. Happy Friday.

Man Foils Beer Robbery, Goes for 80 MPH Ride on Roof

In Stevenson, CA, six people are going to jail for attempting to steal two 12 packs of beer. One suspect entered the Lander Grocery and Liquor and grabbed a pack of Budweiser and a pack of Tecate. The suspect left the store and got into a Chevy Tahoe that drove away.

Stevenson's own Caped Cruisader, aka 28 year old Erick Borgam, chased the suspect and pounded on the windows of the Tahoe as it attempted to drive away. Said the Merced Sun-Star "The Tahoe drove away -- but Borgman jumped onto the running board and grabbed a railing on the roof of the vehicle. Borgman said the suspects in the back of the SUV punched him several times in the face through the vehicles open window."

Then dad got involved.

"As Borgman was hanging on to the SUV, his father, Jame Borgman, followed the suspects in his truck. As the Tahoe reached speeds of 80 mph, the younger Borgman climed onto the SUV's roof and began pounding on it. After the SUV traveled about five miles, Borgman's father pulled his vehicle in front of the suspects' SUV, which slowed down, allowing Erick Borgman to jump off."

Needless to say, the suspects were apprhended by local authorities who, obviously cautioned others about taking on similar vigilante justice. Read the article and see an interview with the younger Borgman here.

I'm So Thirsty I'd Drink Skunked Beer from a Trash Heap

National Public Radio (NPR) reports that city workers in Colombia, MO are in some trouble for stealing beer - from the city dump. A local distributor left 1,500 cases of expired beer at the city land fill recently. The workers were caught on security cameras loading the 50 cases into a truck. What is left in the city land fill officially belongs to the city so workers may be facing criminal charges.

Listen to Renee Montagne tell the story here.

Your reward for reading this far: A montage of "Muppet News Flash" reports. Enjoy.