Man's Best Friend Gets Even Better

A company called Bark4Beer has created the best canine accessory in the history of man's best friend. For just $14.95 you can purchase a dog collar that is embedded with a retractable bottle opener. And they know their marketing saying it's a "great gift for you, your loved one, fraternity brother, college roommate, hunting friends, tailgate posse and of course your dog. Bring out your inner party animal today."

Wondering how it works? Click here for a demonstration by disturbingly half-naked Joey. Now, if we could only get Fido to fetch the beer.

Tip of the hat to the Baltimore Sun's Unleashed blog.

Irony Tastes Like Beer

James Miller, 20, of Cincinnati, Ohio dressed as a breathalyzer test for Halloween and the fuzz picked him up for suspicion of driving under the influence. That's right, he's not even the legal drinking age (we're assuming Ohio is on par with the rest of the country). The story goes something like this:

"Oxford police arrested James P. Miller after allegedly finding him driving the wrong way down a one-way street with no headlights at about 1:30 a.m. Nov. 1., according to a police report.

Miller, who was allegedly stuffing his mouth with chewing gum, told the officer he did not have anything to drink that night, according to police."

The conversation went something like this:

Miller: I swear ociffer, I haven't been drinkin'.

Officer: You were driving with no headlights.

Miller: Well, uh, jeez, it's easier to see with the natural lighting.

Officer: The wrong way down a one way street.

Miller: I didn't see the sign 'cause it's dark.

Mr. Miller blew a .158 and is pictured above. We could not locate a picture of the breathalyzer blowing into a breathalyzer. That is probably just being greedy but we looked anyway.

DC Beer Week, Sort of

May 26, 2009 - June 1, 2009, is unofficially beer week in Washington, DC. We say "unofficially" because the Mayor and DC Council are too busy negotiating the use of baseball tickets to focus on important things like beer or crime (but not because the Washington Post declared it the unofficial beer week). So, what's going on in DC this week? Below are the highlights.

May 26, 2009 - Brasserie Beck is serving a four-course meal featuring various French micro brews.

May 27, 2009 - Hawk 'n Dove is hosting a Capitol Hill Craft Beer Bar Tour

May 28, 2009 - Sierra Nevada Artisan Ale Experience at Stoney's Bar and Grill

May 29, 2009 - Lupulin Slam at RFD

May 30, 2009 - One word: SAVOR

June 1, 2009 - Finish the week with Greg Koch of Stone Brewing Company at the Brickskeller.

A more complete list of events can be found here.

Beer, Sharp Objects, and Big Sticks

If there's one thing beer understands it's hockey.

On February 7, 2009, Labatt Blue is sponsoring its 2nd Annual Pond Hockey Tournament on the great shores of Lake Erie in Buffalo, NY. The success of last year's 16 team tournament led to a significant expansion this year. According to the Buffalo News, "this year’s event will be held from 7:30 a. m. to 5 p. m. Feb. 7 at Erie Basin Marina. It will be four times the size of last year’s, with 64 teams competing on eight rinks and in eight divisions — from novice to advanced." Labatt is also adding music, a skills competition, and food and apparel vendors. You can get more information here but if you're looking to play it's too late - the tournament is a sell out.


Schlitz is yet another brewer that understands the unique relationship between hockey and its fans. The "beer that made Milwaukee famous" is now the namesake of a pond arena behind the home of Dean Reder. According to TwinCities.com, Mr. Reder and his friends E-mailed the brewery asking if they'd sponsor the pond at the cost of a 12 pack. Schlitz agreed but delivered 3 cases of beer for the naming rights. Like Labatt, Schlitz has also sponsored pond hockey tournaments, including the US Pond Hockey Championships.

Pour Some Out for the Homies

We're on the soapbox this morning - a bit delayed but that's because of the hangover. We were not thrilled with the InBev purchase of Anheuser-Busch but we played the stiff upper lip. It's still brewed in America, still headquartered in St. Louis, and there is still something American cool about going into a bar and ordering a Bud. Besides, it's the way of the world for the big brewers (ahem, MolsonCoors). And when big fish eat even bigger fish do beer lovers hear it?

We knew the winds of change were blowing but less than a month into this new venture comes the announcement that A-B will be cutting 1,400 jobs - 75 percent of which are located at the St. Louis headquarters. This does not include the 415 contractor jobs that are also being cut. This will save the company $1.5 billion and that's a lot of money. Part of this is our own fault. In the Wal-Mart world we live in everybody races to the lowest price quality be damned. We're over-simplifying two very complicated issues (1-InBev's job cutting and 2-the entire economy).

We had thoughts on calling for some sort of boycott but we're taking a different strategy. Don't boycott anything - buy. Buy American. Buy local. Everywhere you can purchase a product made in America - preferably if it's an American-owned company (thereby keeping profits in America). Keep the jobs here, the middle-class labor and manufacturing and engineering jobs. This doesn't mean you can't enjoy a Molson or Blue every now and again but think about what your buying before you buy - whether it's a beer, #2 pencil, or shovel from Home Depot.

A Little Father-Son Road Trip

In our continuing series that highlights the lowlights of drinking and fatherhood we today bring you the story of Joshua Fagan of somewhere in or near Fort Myers, Florida. Having recently lost his job in construction and his wife to divorce Mr. Fagan did what many of us might do - he had a few drinks. As is sometimes wont to happen, Mr. Fagan had enough to recognize that he was in no condition to drive. He apparently was drinking at home so being impaired and not driving is good but doesn't get you the same bragging rights as if you were smart enough to cab it home from the bar.

Here's where the story gets interesting. Mr. Fagan was not done drinking and decided that rather than break the law he would simply have his 9 year old son drive to the store for some more of the good stuff.

The local CBS affiliate, WINK (seriously, the CBS affiliate is WINK? Florida is messed up) followed the story. Here's a portion of Maggie Crane's Peabody-worthy report:
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REPORTER: "We have this police report. Would you care to comment on the safety of your son?"

FAGAN: shut the door to his home without comment.
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Riveting.

Not That There's Anything Wrong With It

We've seen Crocodile Dundee so we know that generally Aussie men are akin to the American cowboys of the wild west. The likes of Jessie Spencer, Hugh Jackman, that guy on The Mentalist, and even Heath Ledger (what, is it to soon?) make us wonder every now and again but we shrug it off because they always hang out with hot chicks.

Then the fine folks at Reuters reported on a survey that found Aussie men are more likely to drink champagne than beer and talk fashion and hair over football (seriously, hair?).
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CANBERRA (Reuters Life!) - The survey found 75 percent of Aussie men were more likely to bring champagne and a cheese platter to a barbeque, rather than the traditional box of beer and raw meat for cooking.

One-in-two men also now favored yoga or pilates exercises to football and cricket at the weekend, the survey of 500 men for boutique brewing company Barons found on Tuesday.

"Many single women are crying out that its almost impossible to find a real man," Barons Chief Executive Scott Garnett said.
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FYI Australia - the metrosexual thing is out. Not that "out" we mean no longer trendy.

We need a Foster's right about now.

Vote or Be Shamed

It's election day and we here at the D-liner don't care who you vote for we just care that you vote. When you're done voting do not forget to where your fascist "I Voted" sticker proudly - preferably some place where everybody can see it. Stand a little taller so you can look down on people that didn't bother to vote. It's everybody's right to vote and because you voted it's your right to shame others into voting by wearing your little sticker.

You're better than those Socialist, Commie-pinkos that don't need to vote; that don't respect the right to vote. Feel free to flick boogers on these non-voters who still live in their parents basement and couldn't break free from their online gaming so they could wait in 8-hour lines filled with voting glitches and hanging chads.

When you're done looking down on the slackers go to CNN's iReport and post your video about how great you are and how you reminded all the non-voters about their civic duties (because posting your video means you almost work for CNN).

If you didn't vote please purchase "I Voted" stickers here or here or tell people you don't wear one because you didn't want to ruin your coat.

Beer Drinkin' Woman

We should all wear blue pants like that once in awhile.

The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round

School bus driver James Pruitt was arrested yesterday for "allegedly" stopping at the local ShopRite and grabbing a quick beer. What he stopped was the school bus he was driving, with one child still on board. Presumably he did not want to create a bad impression for the child so Mr. Pruitt was smart enough to chug the beer before getting back behind the wheel to finish his route. Needless to say, Mr. Pruitt was arrested and has a November 19th date with the judge.

This comes awfully close to our Father of the Year - UK Style post. Let it not be said that us Yankees will ever be out done by the Brits and their red coats.

Father of the Year - UK Style

The Telegraph reports today that one of the finer red coats, Randy Lewis, got himself hammered on the alcohol (and cocaine). Being the safe drive he is, Mr. Lewis had his son take the keys and drive home with several other passengers. Mr. Lewis' son is 10 years old - but he is mature beyond his years. According to the story, Mr. Lewis was in the vehicle with at least one other adult.

Reaching speeds of up to 90 MPH (144 KPH for our metric friends), the kid flipped the vehicle. After the crash, the other adult passenger was seen stuffing her face with pills until police intervened. Mr. Lewis was found wearing a t-shirt reading "Buy this Dad a beer". Classy.

Mr. Lewis you are no K-Fed!

The BeerSpotter

We are always pleased when we find a new gem - such as somebody else reviewing the microbrews so we can spend more time drinking them and less time blogging about them.

Today we bring you The BeerSpotter (aka Orr Shtuhl) of the Washington CityPaper. This week Orr is featuring Eugene City Tracktown 100 Meter Ale. Orr even goes so far as to tell you where to purchase the beer. We don't do that because we don't want to infringe on your sense of adventure - and because it never dawned on us. Go read the review to find out why you should drink this ale - we're too lazy to cut and paste it here.

We've never come across anything from Eugene City but we have a lot of experience with their brothers and sisters at Rogue. Some of us at DB have experience running the 100 meter dash. Running is hard and since we have a day job, and time for marginally read blogs, it's clear the Olympics (not even the special ones) are not calling. If you can't break a world record what is the point of running races?

Anyway, check out the BeerSpotter and the CityPaper What the hell - check out Tracktown 100 Meter Ale too.

Ladies Drink for Free

It's back - and now it's legal. New York federal Judge Miriam Goldman Cedarbaum threw out a case in Manhattan that claimed ladies nights discriminate against men by offering free or discounted admission and drinks. Attorney Roy Den Hollander brought the suit because he's tired of women getting things for free - and because he is just doing his part to reinforce the stereotype that men are idiots. According to CNN, Roy said the judge is a feminist.

We are big supporters of ladies nights. First, it means the bar will have ladies and, unlike Roy, we like the ladies. Second, it means more people drinking beer in the bars. And we like the drinking. Finally, if ladies drink for free on ladies night that means we don't have to buy drinks to get them drunk.

Roy, some unsolicited advice - go find a ladies night, have a beer (actually, have several beers), and talk to some of the ladies like most normal men. In your case, I'd recommend a fake name and probably lie about your profession too. If you are man, and we have our doubts, lying should be easy enough.

Boy Meets World

If the younger me and the elder me could have created this musical number I'd be spending less time in the cubicle...and more time on Dungeons and Dragons. I come from the Empire of Ismer!

Pints for Prostates

We at DB are always happy to promote a good cause - even if, like any self-respecting man, we would prefer a novacaine-free root canal to any thought of prostate exams. Apparently something like 1 in 6 of us on the male side can be at risk of prostate cancer. That sounds like a lot of men - and we need the numbers.

So, click on the picture and open your wallet. Then reward yourself with a nice cold beer. If you're over 40 and get tested please reward yourself with multiple beers.