Rental Review: Ford Focus

Some crack string theory scientists subscribe to the theory of infinite universes or "multiverse". Somewhere on that infinite, flat timeline I'm actually an auto journalist for Jalopnik. But I live in this universe where I toil away as a middle-management public servant. In keeping the dream alive it's time to introduce our newest segment: Rental Car Review.

In this series we take advantage of the numerous times my job takes me across the empire state. Generally speaking this travel requires the use of a rental car from a company that shall remain unnamed. This series is less about the rental company and more about the ride. Also, I'm making an assumption that these are the types of cars most drivers rely on daily - a small or midsize vehicle, typically sedan-ish and modestly equipped. So, maybe this will be fun or maybe it will simply feed my car obsession.

This past week I took a road trip to Oswego, NY. If I were a travel writer in a parallel universe I'd wax poetic about the romantic welcome offered by the big nuclear power plant right on Main. Instead, we're going to discuss the 2015 Ford Focus that got me there and back.

Nicely equipped with heat, a/c, power windows, and a radio, the Focus got the job done. Overall, more good than bad.

Don't buy this car: First, the EcoBoost engine shudders, shimmies, and shakes at 0-20 mph. It's fine after that but it's disconcerting off the line. Second, it's small. I'm no giant but I felt like I barely fit (confession: I happily leased an early Focus 15 years and 15 lbs ago so it might not be the car). Third, this model didn't have the one-touch window up feature. That's critical when dealing with toll roads. Finally, sound system isn't great and the car rides a little loud; both of which impact music quality.

Buy this car: First, it's a lot of fun to drive. After you pass 20 mph it's easy to see why younger drivers are attracted to the Focus. It's small, lightweight, and you can zip around. Could easily upgrade to the ST and really spin some wheels. Second, Sync gets a lot of heat for poor functionality but I hooked up my iPhone to play music in about 10 seconds. Kids today need more than music so maybe it's a problem but it did right by me. Third, can't argue MPG. A full tank of gas took me round trip from Buffalo to Oswego. That's never a bad thing. Finally, made in America. The 2015s are but Ford is negotiating with the United Auto Workers and it's expected that smaller cars like the Focus will soon be made in Mexico. So, if earth friendly made in America is your thing - get 'em while you can.

Because We Can

We don’t do a lot of automobile reviews here on Dumbarton’s Beer. We tend to leave things like this to the experts. Besides, I always assumed my first review would cover the 1968 Mustang I just purchased. However, relocating to Buffalo means I’ve traded enhanced revenue for quality of life so the Mustang is on hold indefinitely.

There are a couple of reasons for expanding Dumbarton’s Beer into the auto world. First, if you’re not innovating your dying (I think I read that in Forbes). Second, I am eminently qualified to do this because I watch a lot of auto-related shows. Third, it’s a natural fit having grown up in and around the auto industry. Fourth, the trusty assistant was "on holiday" at press time and I’m home with sick kids. Two sleepless nights means that if I have a beer I will fall asleep before any attempt at writing about it. Finally, suck an egg.

While those are all perfectly legitimate reasons for an auto review the primary driver (pun intended) is my love-hate relationship with new cars. 

Case Study: the 2012 Ford Fusion SEL I4.

This really is the good, the bad, and the ugly. If you want a real, quality review search through Jalopnik. If you want test track data and comparisons against other mid-size sedans search through Motor Trend. Either of which will prove infinitely more informative.

The Good

As far as I can tell, SEL is code for “loaded”. This particular model is really only missing AWD and two cylinders (more on that below). Here is the list of options: six colors of ambient lighting, automatic headlights, fog lights, leather, AM/FM/CD/Sirius, Sync, Sony sound, 12v plugs, power seats driver and passenger, power windows including one-touch for driver and passenger, sunroof, blind side warning, variable windshield wipers that automatically determine speed based on rain, rearview camera for reverse, chrome stuff, and floor mats. Can anybody tell me why floor mats are an “option”?

The Bad

I4 is the engine code and the four represents the number of cylinders. By far the worst thing about this car is the four cylinders. Yes, they upped the HP for the 2012 but it’s still sluggish off the start. Once you are cruising you have no trouble. Still, get the six cylinder engine. I don’t notice the missing AWD though I might change my opinion after driving through my first Buffalo winter in a decade.

The Ugly

The Fusion is made in Mexico. Every day I drive to work and pass a Ford plant that makes parts of the Escape, Edge and Flex. Some 2013s will be made in the US so that helps.

My biggest complaint applies not just to this Fusion but to all of today’s cars. Like smartphones today’s cars are making us dumb. In this case, cars are making us dumb at driving. I once drove a stick shift Focus and to this day it was one of the most fun cars to drive. The driving experience is so much better because you are part of the car. Thanks to the Focus, I will never again be able to drive in reverse without the rearview camera. I expect that 6 months from now I will forget how to operate windshield wipers. All this means I can never own that '68 Mustang without being a complete menace on the roads.

I Deserve This Beer

There are two reasons to have a beer: 1) because you want one and 2) because you deserve one. Despite what the big brewer commercials will have you believe 99 percent of the time you simply want the beer. Maybe you convince yourself you deserve it but, statistically speaking, you just want it. Most nights (early afternoons and the occasional mornings) I am comfortable in knowing I simply want a cold one but today I deserve this beer.

My father spent the better part of 40 years on the factory floor for FoMoCo. His brothers did the same. His father as well. Hell, even his mother worked in the factory. When Dad wasn't working in the factory he was working on cars with friends. He also rides a Harley. My folks worked a lot of years so I could go to school and avoid a similar fate. So, for the better part of 37 years I managed to avoid the factory floor and most other forms of "work". Despite a love affair with cars I never, until this weekend, did any more than change winshield wipers - that was a weeks long project. That's right, I've never even changed the oil.

First, some background. We live in the city and park our car on the street. Our 2010 Ford Flex has been hit four times in just over two years while parked within view of our rowhouse. Two hit and runs, one unlicensed driver in a stolen vehicle running from the fuzz after buying from the drug house, and the most recent hit and run a few weeks back. The lesson being don't own a vehicle in the city unless you have offstreet parking. And, don't live near drug houses.

The Damage

The most recent swipe was just that. Somebody smacked the driver's side mirror knocking the mirror plate out and rendering the rest of the unit useless. After reviewing the particulars (including the very real possibility that our insurance company simply gives up on us) I start thinking "I bet I can do this". Knowing full well "I can't do this" I entertain the small bit of manliness I have and find that you can actually purchase the part online for under $200. Rationalizing that means the repair shop charges around $500 I head back to the Interwebs and find a Flex bulletin board where there's a full conversation about replacing the driver side mirror. The replacement mirror arrived earlier this week taunting my mechanical skills. I have tools. A full set. I just never use them.

The folks at FordFlex.net made this sound like an easy fix. One person in particular, going by the name Dashdog's Photos, even posted pictures bragging that it could be done in under 30 minutes. With fears of causing additional damage dancing in my head I sauntered out to the Flex in my best auto mechanic outfit - new jeans and Johnston & Murphy casual shoes. All told, the change out took me about 25 minutes. It was just as Dashdog said and I fixed my car. Seriously, I replaced the mirror. It's fully functional and I caused no ancillary damage to the door or the rest of the vehicle. Dashdog, you deserve a  beer too so where ever you are thanks for the help.

I fixed my car. I don't care what anybody says I deserve this 90 Minute IPA. Today, it tastes just a little better and I'm sitting just a little taller. In a couple of days I'll see my Father and a small part of me can't wait to tell him about this weekend. I fixed my car.

Finished Product